Eye contact is a method used by many people as means for communication. Some consider it impudence, when someone talk to another one and keep a focused eye contact on the other. There are who think otherwise: I used to know a girl who hated the idea of a person talking to her while his eyes rolling now and then in all directions. She believed that a person doing such is not respecting her and she would never talk to him again in her life!! In other words, her concept is that an eye contact is like ""I'm listening..." without saying the word. Some see it as a symbol of winning certain discussion when keep eye contact on the other party involved in converstaion.
I think this has to do with how a person has been raised up! The way his or her personality came to be after certain age. It might have something to do with society or a certain culture background. Many in the west agree that eye contact with conversation partner is a proof of self confidence and personality strength. In some oriental cultures, they believe that personality strength and self confidence coems by voice tone, body language or even a gesture, and not from disrespectful and challenging look in the eys of another person, not that some culture consider eye contact between man and woman forbidden due to elements of attraction or flirting.
It is a little bit confusing, because I can't rule out which is right or wrong! However, the whole issue might be focusing on how we can have a conversation with someone and let that person be confident that you are paying good attention to him and that you are interested in the subject matter during that conversation. It also depends on that person, and what he believe in as guidlines for a healthy conversation, accordingly, a person can use eye contact or not.
2 comments:
It is how you are raised and its also cultural. To me eye contact means honesty, and engagement (yes i am listening) but to our Indigenous people eye contact is an insult and threatening. I know in some asian cultures women don't make eye contact but men do..
But when I am trying hard to talk of something serious I am usually sitting beside the person so I can focus on what I am saying...
All peoples are different, and if in a conversation you feel by their eye contact (or body language) you are not being heard you need to clarify that...It may be something that is not to do with you...they may say..'Yes Im listening, I've just had a hard day'
Anyway that is my thoughts..
"But when I am trying hard to talk of something serious I am usually sitting beside the person so I can focus on what I am saying..."
I like that, effective indeed during converstaion for both... Thanks, Gale, for your valuable input
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